Meghan and Harry quitting the ‘Family’ – 10 questions

1 – When did Royals start to think, never mind ‘progressively’?

Normally announcements like this are made round the family dinner table, after a couple of bottles of wine, however, this one was done through the tabloids; with many reputable journalists, such as Piers Morgan, calling for Meghan and Harry’s Titles to be ‘stripped’.

The Queen and Prince Charles are currently conducting a 4-way FaceTime to resolve this matter asap, especially after the embarrassment caused by the ‘Out-of-sight-out-of-mind-Prince’, who has been put on desk duty for the rest of his life.

2 – Who will pay for Meghan’s shoes now?

They have abandoned the ‘Family’ and luckily that isn’t something punishable by death anymore, but it still leaves a complicated and delicate question.

3 – If it is true that Royals can’t ‘think’, then who put them up to this?

Surely there must be a malignant force lurking in the background that has engineered a ‘Family’ melt-down? Perhaps they were re-engineered in Canada and turned into the Canadian version of the Stepford Wives and Meghan and Harry are no longer themselves, but mere robotic dolls in Royal clothing?

4 – Will they ever want to visit?

If they do, visa requirements will be in force.

5 – How many trees will they plant to justify their travel?

6 – What accent will Archie have in the future?

This is an important consideration for Meghan and Harry, as he could one day be the King of England.

7 – To save money they should be locked in a box at all times, for their security. How big should that box be?

8 – Will anyone want them after all this, never mind the Charities they represent?

9 – What are they going to do next? Will they find jobs and live like REAL people?

10 – The Queen is Head of the ‘Family’ – Mafia bosses are keen to understand what ‘collaborate’ means, as they know what being the Head of the ‘Family’ means, but thought that ‘collaborate’ was something you did with the Police?

It would seem that the ‘Family’ is more exciting than Eastenders at Xmas and more unreal than the actual Royals series. Stay tuned….whatever will happen next?